


Light Can Bring Hope But Not Happiness

by laughinvain



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-06
Updated: 2013-04-06
Packaged: 2017-12-07 15:30:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/750102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laughinvain/pseuds/laughinvain





	Light Can Bring Hope But Not Happiness

Sam is lost. The darkness of the night exposes a void that had been unnoticed in the day. Surely an adventure with his brother, fighting evil beings that were hurting people was a good enough way to exist, but Sam knew better. He knew that after they left town, these people were just haunted with the knowledge of what goes bump in the night. Some turn to hunting while others turn to the bottle. If they were good enough they could do both. Now, laying his head back on the headrest of the oh-so-familiar impala, the rest he searches for is just out of his grasp. Glancing out the window he can see all of the stars in the sky and he hopes that there is a special one watching just for him. The warm air escaping his nostrils leaves a fog on the window. 

Dean stirs in the seat next to him. A slight whimper escapes his throat as they often do any more. Sam thinks back to the days of solitude from Dean's trip to purgatory, Kevin going missing, Meg having been presumably killed, and all for what? The time he was able to spend with Amelia was the first time he had felt genuine love in such a long time. The guilt from Jessica's death weighed heavy in his heart. Her death was his fault and his alone. Had he been there, had he been with her, she wouldn't have had to die. Well, this wasn't entirely true.

Same had watched as Yellow Eyes killed innocent people, most of them the loved ones of his "children", so how could Jessica survive? From birth, Sam was destined for disaster. A "child" of Azazel, the vessel for Lucifer, there was just never any promise. Him and his brother were born to two families with a long lineage of hunters. After their mother's death, their father raised them in the life, normalcy was not their norm. It was not the thing they knew. When he left for college, Sam swore to himself that he would never go down that road again. He loved his family, but his father was insane and a hard-ass, and despite Dean's constant attempts to give him the best life, he was a freak. Always too short or too tall, too smart and nerdy, too strong. There was never a chance for him to settle into any life that had a white picket fence, a yard, or a dog. Jess had been his hope for it all, and Amelia had been his realization.

Sometimes he let Dean get to him. He let Dean's anger about abandoning him in purgatory get into his system, and he just took it. He took the blame for Kevin being left on his own. He took the blame for Meg being taken in by the rest of Hell. But under all of it, he reminds himself that Dean had followed their agreement before. Dean had lived with Lisa and Ben, Dean had had a family, but god forbid Sam ever mentions that. The same family Dean had had was taken from him. I guess that was how it always had to be. Amelia had her husband who was back from the dead, and Sam had Dean.

The Impala is never empty with the brothers on the road. Just looking around, one can tell that it is the only real home they have ever known. But what used to be filled with life and childish games is now filled with underlying darkness and slight resentment for each other. Dean trusted a vampire after having killed one of Sam's oldest friends because she was doing what she needed to save her son, but his new found friend was suddenly "okay" even though he had apparently been bad enough to have been killed and sent to purgatory in the first place.

"Whatever," Sam mumbles under his breath. "I don't need this any way."

"What?" Dean awakens to the sudden sound in the car.

"Nothing. Go back to sleep."

The sun is starting to rise over the horizon and both Dean and Sam know that there will be no more rest. With daylight comes a new job, and with a new job comes danger, but it's okay, because they have each other.

A wind seems to get the Impala rocking and Sam goes to rest his head back down. A change in scenery causes him to turn and face the back seat.

"Hello," an angel whispers, head held low.

The simple sound of this mans voice causes both brothers to have a moment of panic. Questions run through their heads and try to come out in the form of words, but something stops them. Their friend was sad, scared even, and bombarding him with questions may cause the flighty individual to dash off for another few months.

"We met her," Dean finally admits.

"I know."

"She saved Bobby," Sam adds.

"I know."

"She says she didn't order you to kill me."

And with that, a single tear falls down the angels cheek.

"She lied."


End file.
